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November 6, 2012
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Sadstuck!!!!! TW: Main character (you) death. Read at your own jurisdiction.

************************************


    As the hot water from the shower runs down your body, blending with your tears, you reflect on the past few months. Your heartstrings pull as you remember that day when it all started.

    "What the hell's got you so upset?" Some shoes came into your vision. They were scuffed and torn in some places, but otherwise in good condition. Your tear-stained eyes traveled upwards and at the person who was questioning you. Karkat Vantas. His eyes showed annoyance, mostly because his friend had told him to go over to you. You wiped your eyes with your jacket sleeve, embarrassed at your current state.

     "I'm sorry..." was all you could say. His scowl turned to a frown.

     "Don't be fucking sorry. Get up off your ass and get the fuck over whatever happened." Those were his parting words. He walked away, leaving you awestruck. Nonetheless, you did as he said. You pushed yourself off of the ground and walked away.


    Oh, if only it were so simple now. You let out a choked sob, remembering his face when you two became friends.

    "What the fuck are these?"

    "Obviously, they're cookies. I wanted to thank you for the other day." He continued to stare at your outstretched hand's contents. Was the subject of thanks foreign to him? It took him a moment to realize you were giving him an odd look, and he grabbed the cookies quickly, his cheeks slightly tinged with pink.

    "Thanks, I guess... I just didn't want to hear your crying while I was trying to have a conversation." He looked away from you. He didn't see you smile at him.

    "I'm sorry for that. I have to go now, but I'll see you around, alright Karkat?"

    "Whatever..." You turned and left to your seat, waiting for the class to begin. Karkat looked at the cookies, unsure of what to think of the whole situation. He didn't know that telling you to get off your ass would get him cookies and thanks. The corner of his mouth twitched upwards into a half-smile as he looked up at you. "Dumbass."


    Time surely went by fast. It wasn't until a week after you gave him the cookies did you talk to him again. More tears went down your cheeks and you smiled sadly at the memory.

    "Karkat, come on! We're going to be laaaaaaaate!" Vriska Serket pulled Karkat along by his wrist, something he wasn't too comfortable with. He wasn't fighting it, though. There was something that drew him to Vriska, and she had taken an interest to him as well. There was no publicly official announcement, but it was assumed by all that the two were together.

    You shut your locker just in time to see Vriska and Karkat. She stopped near you and smirked wickedly, causing you to push back against your locker.

    "Well, well, well... Looks like little miss No Friends showed up at school still! Didn't you learn by now? No one likes you." Her voice was full of malicious intent, hope that every word stung you. They did. Your head hung low and tears threatened to fall.

    "What the fuck are you talking about, Vriska?" Karkat had never seen her like this. Sure, she was rude to most people, but never this harsh. He looked at you, just taking it. He had to defend you, or this would definitely go on. "What do you mean no one likes her?"

    Vriska was shocked that Karkat would speak up about you. Did you have anything to do with this? "All I'm saying is that she has no business even showing up anymore. She doesn't have any friends, baby. She wouldn't have any if she even tried!" She wrapped her arm around his own, eyelashes batting.

    "I'm her friend." Shock plastered both Vriska's and your own face. She dropped his arm as if it were poison and he walked over to you. "Are you alright?" he asked. You nodded and looked fearfully at Vriska. She looked ready to stab you at that point, and there really was nothing that would stop her. However, all she did was walk away.

    "Why did you help me?" you asked, looked Karkat straight in the eyes. He looked tired.

    "I have no fucking clue." He grabbed your hand. "Let's get the fuck out of here." He pulled you away from your locker. You assumed he had meant the hallways, but he meant the entire school. You both left through the front gates and onto the street. He kept on pulling you until you got to a frozen yogurt shop, where he pushed you into a chair and got some yogurt for you both. After paying the guy that worked there, he took his seat with you. "Here." He held out the cup for you, and you took it hesitantly.

    "Thanks..." The two of you ate in silence. Once finished, he sighed and looked at you tensely.

    "So, how long has that bullshit been going on?"


    More tears fell. You told him everything that day. How Vriska made you life hell since day one of high school, how you had began cutting sophomore year (You showed him the scars, making him go into a rant about self worth.), and how the day he had talked to you was the day Vriska had told you to kill yourself and that you were even thinking about pulling through with her demand. He had comforted you all day that day, and became your friend.

    A month passed and Vriska had gotten easier on you. She only glared at you in the halls, because you were usually talking to Karkat. It was finally easy for you to go to school. Your grades began to rise, your parents commended you on doing well, and you had Karkat to look forward to every day. Just two months ago, he asked you to be his girlfriend, which you graciously accepted. The two of you were happy, that is, until your first fight.

    "What the fuck, ______?" Karkat shot out of his desk chair. You were visiting his house, and had accidentally spilled your drink in his lap.

    "I'm so sorry, Karkat!" You attempted to help him, but he swatted your hands away, his anger getting the best of him.

    "No, fuck off! God, you can't do anything, can you?" You pulled back, eyes wide. He stomped off to his bathroom to go change into his sweats he had left in there. You stared at your empty cup in silence until he returned. "What the fuck are you still doing here? Go home." You set the cup on his desk and grabbed your bag, then left without a word. You didn't speak with him for 3 weeks. It was unsure as to whether the two of you broke up, so you finally got the courage to ask him one day.

    "Karkat, can we talk?" He looked away from his friend, Gamzee, to you, frowning.

    "About what?" You looked at Gamzee, who nodded and walked away to chat with Terezi, who was walking down the hall.

    "Are we still together?" It wasn't like you to beat around the bush, and you got right to what you wanted the answer for. He looked surprised, but shook it off and looked away.

    "I don't fucking care. Do whatever the fuck you want. Just don't get sad about it. No one likes a girl who has a bunch of fucking scars all over herself." You pulled at your jacket sleeve self-consciously. He saw this, and forced himself to think nothing of it. "Now, get the fuck out of my face." He didn't want to be so harsh, but there was no hope in your relationship, to him. You left without a word. You went straight home.


    You ran your finger down your many scars that lined your arm. There were so many, most of them because of Vriska. You never expected the deepest ones to be for Karkat, though. You thought he really cared, and that brought another wave of tears around. You thought back to just two days ago, the second to last time you spoke to him.

    You hadn't gone to school since the day you broke up. Rumors were flying around every corner you went. Whispers of you cutting and sleeping with Karkat were the loudest. You never slept with Karkat, and you had only cut three days ago. Your skin was paler that usual, but covered by the jacket you always wore. You got to your locker and spotted Vriska with Karkat again. Your heart nearly stopped when Vriska began to walk towards you, Karkat in tow.

    "Look who decided to show her face again! What's wrong, run out of places to cut?" She laughed like the villain she was, and Karkat said nothing to defend you. He only watched as you smiled sadly.

    "There's always a place for you, Vriska." You looked up at her, still smiling. "It just so happens, it's in hell."

    It happened so fast, you almost didn't think it was real. Vriska slapped you, leaving a red mark on your cheek. Your eyes were wide, as well as Karkat's.

    "How dare you speak back to me, you worthless piece of shit! Go fucking kill yourself, bitch!" You flinched and Karkat was in too much shock to say anything. Vriska pulled him along angrily as she left, only allowing him to look back at your shaking form.


    You looked at the razor in your hand and smiled sadly, thinking about yesterday. Karkat had tried to talk to you, at least. But it was pointless. You were nearly lifeless now. Just a slice with the razor and you were free.

    "______, are you okay?" Karkat pulled on your shoulder, making you face him. He took in everything about you. Your hair was a mess and untamed, your cheeks sunken, your eyes baggy an lifeless, your lips chapped.

    "I'm perfectly fine, Karkat. There's nothing to worry about." Your voice sounded too happy to be your own. You felt nothing.

    "That's bullshit and you know it!" He pulled up your sleeve and frowned deeply. The fresh cuts were scabbing over. "_____..." You smiled sadly and pulled your arm away gently.

    "Don't you have Vriska waiting for you?" You were right, of course, but Karkat seemed not to want to leave you. The devil woman herself saw you two and was fuming as she near ran to the two of you.

    "Karkat! What the fuck are you doing with her?" She pushed his chest, forcing him to back up. Before he could protest, Vriska began to harass you. "And you! Who the fuck do you think you are, talking to him? You're a low-life piece of trash who needs to learn their place!" She swung at you, then. You just took it. No tears fell. She kept hitting you and Karkat kept trying to stop her, but it was no use. Soon, a crowd formed, most cheering for Vriska. Some were yelling a her to stop like Karkat, but could do nothing about it. You lay on the ground, making no noise and accepting the beating. Once she was tired out, she spit on you, a victorious smirk decorating her face.

    "Now you know where you belong: In the dirt."

    She left, as well as the crowd. Karkat dropped to his knees beside you, tears threatening to fall from his eyes as he looked at your broken form.

    "_____, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, ______. I should have stopped her. I'm so sorr-" His apologies kept going, and you pushed yourself up, wincing slightly. You looked up at him and smiled. You raised your hand to cup his cheek, using your thumb to wipe away the forming tears. He stopped talking and only stared at you.

    "It's okay. I forgive you." You got up and began to walk away, ignoring his yells. he yelled your name. He yelled for you to come back, but you didn't. You were gone, then. There was no getting you back.


    You dragged the blade as deep as you could across your wrist. It stung and you hissed and you cut the other side just as deep. The razor fell with a clatter and your blood mixed with the water. You smiled sadly as more tears fell and soon the world began turning black.

    "I forgive you..." you whispered, and then you were gone.

---------The next day at school------------

    Everyone was pulled into the auditorium and Karkat Vantas cursed as he was shoved. He took his seat next to Vriska and scanned the crowd for you, but found no sign of you. Maybe you had stayed home. He hoped you were alright. Vriska attempted to hold his hand, but he pulled away with a frown.

    The principal walked onto the stage, his face filled with wrinkles. Behind him were two adults, a crying woman being consoled by a grim man. What the hell was this assembly all about.

    "Students, many of you might not know this girl, but some of you do. Not many of you know what happened yet, and that's why we all pulled you in here." the principal spoke. The screen on the stage now held a picture of your face, back a few years ago, when you were healthy and smiling. Worry and confusion stuck Karkat. "Yesterday evening, she was found in her bathroom. She had... committed suicide." The woman on stage, whom everyone could now assume was your mother, let out a broken sob. Karkat's grip on his chair tightened as his whole word came crashing down. Vriska beside him was in awe. She had never meant for you to actually kill yourself. She had only said that as an empty demand. She didn't want anyone dead. No one wanted you dead. "There will be a candlelight vigil tonight and 7, and anyone who wishes to speak or give condolences can attend. For now, please go back to your classrooms. Counselors are available for anyone who needs to talk."

    As the flurry of student left the auditorium, Karkat was still in shock over the news. You were gone from his life. He had only known you for such a short time. He had dated you for only a few weeks, and then broke it off with you over something so stupid. Now, you were gone. You said you forgave him, though. Was that for everything? God, this was too much.

    Karkat ran as fast as he could. He ran past your old locker, which was now being adorned with notes and flowers. He ran past the grassy area where just yesterday he was on his knees beside you. He ran and ran until he got to the yogurt shop where you told him your whole story. He stepped inside and got the same yogurt he got you that day, then sat in the same seat you sat in. You were gone, but he wasn't ready for you to be. He wanted to take it all back. He wanted to go back all the way until freshman year, when he first saw you in the hallway and thought you were the most amazing girl he had ever seen and chose to talk to Vriska instead of approach you.

  He wanted you, but you were gone.

  There was nothing he could do but wish you weren't.
whoops hey

have some sadstuck human!stuck

karkat x reader

i kind of want to write more homestuck x reader since there isn\'t a lot but there\'s a lot of characters and im kind of idk busy

um
yeah

here

have fun reading and crying yay

i dont own homestuck or any characters i just kind of wrote this
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:iconcrystlevoorhees:
crystlevoorhees Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Student Digital Artist
wow so many times i thought about killing myself but my friends allways cheered me up but now it's getting harder too. my parents work till late so i can't talk to them and i bearly see my friends. i want the pain to end so bad
Reply
:iconabbyfireforlife:
AbbyFireForLife Featured By Owner 4 days ago
/*grabs it and runs*
Reply
:iconabbyfireforlife:
AbbyFireForLife Featured By Owner 4 days ago
i did nothing*looks at a random bucket(or pail same thing) and i stand behind karkat* get that thing away!!!!!!! cause im not touching it!!!
Reply
:iconabbyfireforlife:
AbbyFireForLife Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2014
*sitting in emo corner crying*
Reply
:icontj-escobar:
TJ-Escobar Featured By Owner 6 days ago
*joins you with cup of chocolate pudding*
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:iconabbyfireforlife:
AbbyFireForLife Featured By Owner 6 days ago
*looks at you* pudding?
Reply
:icontj-escobar:
TJ-Escobar Featured By Owner 6 days ago
want some?
Reply
:iconabbyfireforlife:
AbbyFireForLife Featured By Owner 6 days ago
sure
Reply
:icontj-escobar:
TJ-Escobar Featured By Owner 6 days ago
*passes you your own pudding cup* 
I found a funny fix... *passes iphone to let you read*
www.deviantart.com/art/Reader-…
Reply
:iconabbyfireforlife:
AbbyFireForLife Featured By Owner 5 days ago
wow.....*snickers a little*
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